


A Death in the Community

by sunshinestealer



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 10:31:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2809148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinestealer/pseuds/sunshinestealer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very short, unfinished ficlet I wrote wayyy back when I first got into Night Vale in early 2013 and did nothing but listen to Disparition on repeat.</p>
<p>Might continue some day, I just found this floundering on my hard drive and decided to share it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Death in the Community

“Dear listeners... welcome to Night Vale.” Cecil crooned the familiar words into the microphone, carefully toying with the mug of coffee an intern had so kindly provided. 

“While I do not wish to begin this broadcast on a sombre note, it is my regretful duty to inform of yet another death in our community. Jebediah Mackintosh, a respectable young citizen living in the apartment above Telly's,” (he snorted derisively at the mention of the traitorous barber's shop) “was last sighted on Wednesday afternoon, chanting Ancient Sumerian in the street. While any graduate of Night Vale High School is expected to have some fluency in the language, Jebediah's voice had taken on an extremely guttural and frightening undertone, which startled nearby locals. He was such a kind, nice boy, reports one. Outside of a sudden mutilation of the vocal chords, what would possess him to do such a thing in public?” 

He pushed up his glasses, looking at nobody in particular. “While strange chanting and motions akin to religious fervour are hardly uncommon in our little community, Jebediah Mackintosh's sudden outburst turned from an ancient language into tongues rather quickly. Then, without warning, his body was engulfed in lightning-blue flames. As the flames cleared, all that was left of Jebediah Mackintosh was a pile of ashes, which smelled distinctly of the rotten eggs that are famously thrown at the sign of Desert Bluffs High School every Halloween.” Cecil grinned to himself, enjoying the image of the poor, useless students of Desert Bluffs arriving on the first day of November to such an unproductive mess. He cleared his throat, drumming his fingers against the desk. 

Somehow, without paying it much attention, his coffee cup was now half full. Dregs of coffee floated around the edge of the mug, and a cursory sip revealed that the coffee had gone cold in record time. Cecil swallowed it down, despite his dislike of coffee as a cold beverage. The coffee house in town made iced caffeinated beverages, which did nothing to keep the citizens cool in the midday heat. But still, Cecil had seen Carlos there once or twice. Ordering one of these... frappucinos. No, milkshakes. The kind with no coffee whatsoever. What was the use in that?

“So, in summation, that was the end of Jebediah Mackintosh. Our condolences are with his family. And now, the weather.”


End file.
